


Magic Bullet Screen Productions

by salamandererg



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Despite the premise, Drabble, Gen, I'm not gonna lie, It's kinda unfinished, Mostly Dialogue, Per usual for me, Porn Star AU, Short, mention of Derek/Stiles, mention of Stiles/other characters, there's no sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 13:32:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15686406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salamandererg/pseuds/salamandererg
Summary: Stiles can't stand doing scenes with Derek, but it seems the very discerning porn consumer, and, you know, Scott, thinks they're hot AF together.





	Magic Bullet Screen Productions

“What,” Stiles shook the stack of papers he held in his hand roughly, “The hell, Scott.”

Scott smiled sheepishly, “I know I said you wouldn’t have to work—”

“You promised me, Scott. Promised that it was the last time. You gave me your word as best bro-slash-agent-slash-manager ever.”

“The last movie did really well, Stiles, I mean, like, through the roof, and the producers thought—”

“Do I need to call Argent in here and get this written into my contract?”

“You don’t understand how much money was made off of—”

“Let it hereby state that Stiles Stilinski, employee of Magic Bullet Screen Productions, one of their rising stars, if you will—”

“You’re both very popular! People like seeing you guys!”

“From this day forth will never, ever-ever-ever—”

“I think you underestimate how good you guys look together.”

“Have to EVER—”

“I promise this will be the last time for real!”

“Work with Derek Hale again!” Stiles finished.

“…Please?”

“Werewolves, Scott,” Stiles burst out, rolling the script up in his hand and smacking his friend on the shoulder, “The script has friggin’ werewolves in it.”

Scott took the hit without even flinching, “Supernatural stuff is really in right now.”

“We’re about ten years too late to ride the Twilight train.”

“It’s...almost Halloween?”

“It's barely Spring, Scott! Did Allison put you up to this? Is this some weird fetish for her family, I've noticed a lot of werewolf imagery while working here. It's a little suspicious.”

Scott shrugged, “I told you, you and Derek are really popular together, your movies make Magic Bullet a lot of money. The last movie made more money than both Jackson’s and Danny’s combined; Jackson threw a huge bitch-fit.”

“Is that why he hip checked me in the hallway? And then told me not to get a big head and think I could usurp his throne? ‘Cause that makes so much more sense now.”

“Did he really say ‘usurp his throne’?”

“I don’t know, Scott, it was hard to think with his cheekbones right in my face.”

“He does have really nice cheekbones—stop changing the subject.”

“I don’t want to shoot with Derek. Anyone else, just not Derek.”

Scott looked down at his binder, skimming through the pages, before looking up with a thoughtful expression, “Fine. If you don’t wanna do it, you don’t have to. I’ll just tell Argent you’ve agreed to a BDSM scene with Peter.”

“What? No, he's even creepier.”

“Gag and cock ring.”

“That’s his uncle—”

“Tied and suspended.”

“I don’t mind that, but not with—”

“Cock and ball torture.”

“I’m very sensitive!”

“Fisting—”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll do the stupid Twilight movie with Derek, but, this is the last one. I mean it; I don’t care if it makes us millionaires or it’s so good they show it in national theaters or it makes everyone jizz diamonds and Cristal. This is the last time.”

“I promise.”

“I want it in writing.”

Scott rolled his eyes and marked a note down in the margins of the script, “There, we good now?”

“Not even remotely,” Stiles slunk down in his seat, scratching his fingers through his hair.

Scott smiled and started getting his things together, “Shooting for the movie starts next month and the company needs your test results by Friday for your scene with the twins and Kali, you film that next week.”

“I remember, I’ll have them faxed over.”

“Hey. I know Agent-Scott is pushing this movie on you because it’ll make a bunch of money and be good for getting your name out there, but Best Friend-Scott totally commiserates with you about having to work with a douchetastic jackass and will be around later with pizza and beer.”

“Thanks ‘Best Friend-Scott’, you need to come out to play more.”

“I’ll see you later.”

\--

End

\--

Epilogue:

“Werewolves,” Stiles spat out disdainfully.

“Stop it.”

“I, really, though? Werewolves? Superheroes, I can get behind that, that’s popular right now. Zombies. Hamilton.”

“You want to do a Hamilton porno?”

“I think I could rock tights and ruffles. Also, I can rap.”

“Don’t. Just, don’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was super short, I'm sorry. Honestly it was supposed to be part of a longer story, but I never got off my ass to write it and I also wasn't very inspired by the later Teen Wolf seasons.  
> I hope someone enjoyed it.


End file.
